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Christianity was supposed to be about becoming like Jesus. | |
We went in the wrong direction. |
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Christian Pioneer - eBook for Cell Phone The Traditional Christian's Guide to the Family in Modern Times |
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| Dating As one’s children reach the age where they consider with whom they may start their own families, those elements that are used for selection criteria become important. For some, proximity is the determinant factor. For others how attractive one is is key. Still others may consider how popular one is. The importance of relatively superficial measurement criteria often fades as one advances to the late 20s. However, many marry in their early 20s using criteria that seemed important to them at the time. The value of parental observation to younger people can be of critical importance. Sadly, it is often at this time when parental observations may be least welcome. For this reason it can be useful to have children learn early to appreciate and recognize more useful criteria such as kindness, forbearance, humor, love of the Lord, selflessness, honesty, and diligence. Children who have been raised with discernment and able to see truth should be able to recognize and avoid those who are superficial, greedy, vain, lazy, given to pleasure seeking, and other character defects that can cause significant pain in a marriage. Once romantic affections have blossomed, there is a lamentable tendency to dismiss observed deficiencies as minor or temporary. With historical traditional families, marriages were often between people who had known each other since childhood and there would be few surprises. In today’s society, two people usually have a process of getting to know each other starting from close to ground zero. Sometimes people misrepresent themselves and their beliefs, often unintentionally, such that decisions can be made with faulty information. Dating is the term used in the world that often describes a process of people simply searching for fornication partners. This can cause confusion for those seeking traditional family marriage partners. Courtship is an antiquated term that has been resurrected occasionally to try to capture a more conservative and traditional approach to marriage, but it still doesn’t quite fit. This may be because the term was more suited to describe the period after an engagement and before a wedding. Until a better term comes along, the word “dating” may have to be used but more narrowly defined. In our consumer society there is a tendency to view even other people as commodities to acquire. Often we find it easy to think in terms of the qualities we would like to see in the product we select. When this perspective carries over to the mate selection process, it is easy to forget that we are a “product” as well and that cultivating those qualities in ourselves that we would like to see in others should not be overlooked. For Christians, the opportunity exists to have improved character as a result of the work of the Holy Spirit as long as we do not “quench” it (1Thes 5:19). |
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Information about Christianity and the Christian life. |
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