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Christianity was supposed to be about becoming like Jesus. | |
We went in the wrong direction. |
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Christian Pioneer - eBook for Cell Phone The Traditional Christian's Guide to the Family in Modern Times |
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| Parental Consistency With most husbands working outside the home most early parental discipline comes from mothers, especially for younger children. It is not unusual to hear exasperated mothers of young children trying to correct behavior in a public place like a grocery store telling their misbehaving child, “Am I going to have to tell you again!” The answer would seem to be, “Yes”. A parent that acts swiftly to apply corrective discipline and does it consistently often finds more obedient children. Even in public, when there is a desire not to apply corrective consequences publicly, a child can be certain that a consequence will be applied when they are home. We found that using a paint stirrer to swat the back of a hand to be a useful consequence. It has low mass and a larger surface area such that no actual damage can be done, but it still stings enough to communicate a consequence. One can experiment by hitting one’s own had to gauge the effect. When a child is offered a choice of consequence such as three swats with the paint stirrer or having to sit five minutes on a chair, they invariably would choose the swats because they would be over sooner. New mothers in particular can be hesitant to apply corrective discipline. They often try appeal to reason and fail to understand that they are unable to fully communicate at that level yet with their small children. The consequence method of communicating is what is understood at the earlier ages. In fact, by not communicating clearly and consistently with discipline, they may be creating greater problems in the future. Communicating with a child requires clarity, simplicity, and immediacy. Ambiguous, hesitant, or delayed instructions or consequences can cause confusion or even contribute to bad behavior. In a way new mothers need to discipline themselves so that their children can benefit from discipline. There are sayings like “Justice delayed is justice denied”. That capture some wisdom from the past. Here are some more; Pro 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Pro 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. Pro 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. The objective of discipline is not to apply pain to make the child somehow “pay” for his infraction. It is to help him learn to have internal discipline. His anticipation of painful consequence can be a huge motivator to reconsider some of his desires such that he develops the self-discipline that can benefit the rest of his life. Consider the child that has been told, “Look both ways before crossing the street”. A child who considers consequences may be more inclined to do so as opposed to the child who has not learned fear of consequences. |
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